The words that people say to us can have a lasting effect, leaving us feeling powerless and vulnerable. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can really hurt us, right?
And, if we are not careful and intentional about the way we treat ourselves, the things that people say to us can actually shape our own opinion of ourselves.
Gone unchecked this can also lead to a more permanent fear of being judged which can actually change the way we communicate and present ourselves to others. You know where this ends up? We start living a lie - showing the world only what we think they want to see. Not our true, authentic selves.
Try these techniques to overcome this fear and get your self-esteem back on track:
1. Know your strengths. This is part of the whole "love yourself" deal. And this doesn't always come easy. You really have to prove to yourself that you are a good person sometimes. Take some time and write down your good points. Then put them somewhere where you will read them every once in a while. And if you find yourself dimming your own light in fear of other people's opinions, ask yourself what you have to fear.
2. Ditch the idea of perfection. Nobody is perfect, honey. Nobody. We are all going to make mistakes and each of us has those little times during the day when somebody catches us at the wrong time and we snap or act inappropriately. That's cool. Just apologize right away when it happens. That's what a good person would do!
3. Be open to other people's opinions. When somebody disagrees with us, it really matters how we interpret that feedback. Confident people know that different opinions are how intelligent people drive our own value sets and beliefs. Consider their opinion instead of being defensive. Is their opinion valid? If not then just be thankful for their opinion because it allowed you confirm that your beliefs and values are solid.
4. Be careful of your inner critic. I seriously believe we have two inner voices; one sitting on each of our shoulders and whispering to us. The angel on one shoulder tells us how great we are doing, but the devil likes to tell us how bad we are. If you hear that little red devil whispering, just flick him off your shoulder and focus on positive self talk.
5. Invest in yourself. Enhance your personal growth and well-being by doing more of what you enjoy doing. Take time for self-care. The better you treat yourself, the better others will treat you as well, thus lessening your fear of their judgement.
6. Don't be afraid to talk about your failures. One reason many of us have a fear of being judged is because we are afraid to share our failures. Who does that? Well, I do. I put it ALL out there and get ahead of the Karens out there before they can start the rumor mill. Go ahead, Karen, I don't care who you tell. I'll say it out loud to everyone!! Like they're perfect? I'm trying my best over here.
Do you need help with self confidence? Are you an approval junkie? Download my free book and start the process of living an authentic life. TODAY!